T minus 2 days and counting

Travis' surgery is right around the corner....and I must admit, I am terrified. Dr. Lamberti's nurse practicioner came by today to confirm that Travis is scheduled for surgery on Friday at 1:00pm. She mentioned that Dr. Lamberti likes to do the more complex surgeries in the afternoon. So, Roger and I will spend all morning with our little bug loving him up! So far all his presurgery labs and cultures are looking good.

I am so dreading the recovery time after the surgery. I know it is a necessary evil. I just don't want to go back to all the tubes and wires. We also won't be able to hold him for a week or so after the surgery (until his line comes out of his tummy). After being able to pick him up whenever I want the past week or so, this will be tough. We love to snuggle together and it will be difficult to just spend time holding his hand. I pray for strength for Roger and I as we take a giant step backwards. I pray for Lil' bug that he knows and senses our presence even though we can't hold him or be with him as frequently as we have been (for the first few days after surgery you can only spend 5 mins of every hour at the bedside...to allow for rest).

Travis is the sweetest little guy. Although I wish we were bonding in a different location (i.e. outside of the NICU), I am enjoying the time we get to spend together. He is such a serious little guy. He always furrows his brows like I do. He loves to do this, especially when he eats. He gets very upset when it is time for a diaper change...diaper changes here come right before feeds and we usually have to wake him from sleep, take his temp, listen to his heart, move his oxygen sensor, and then change him. He turns red and cries....he does NOT like being messed with. One other thing that I love is his faces when I am trying to burp him. His neck is getting stronger and he moves his face to look at me with his huge eyes and kind of says "what the heck are you doing mom" with his expression. I love it! I love to kiss his little head.

I went home for a bit on Saturday and took my dogs to the park. It was so surreal. It's been a month since labor started and everything is so different. So much has changed/gone on in the past four weeks...that little glimpse into my "old life" felt really foreign. Even my house felt foreign. I wonder how it will feel to get lil bug home....Oh, just thinking of that makes my heart flutter.....