Going it alone

Yesterday was my first officially day alone with Travis. Up until now, I've had nurses or my husband or a grandma here to help. Roger had to go back to work yesterday and Travis and I had to get used to our new normal of hanging out together during the days.

Yesterday we made a trip to the doctor's office because we were worried about Travis' eating. He had only been eating about 60% of his feeds for a couple of days and to top that off Sunday night he threw up his whole bottle. He was also very fussy while we fed him. I knew it was probably gas or something BUT lack of appetite could also signal that his heart is working too hard. So, we went just to check. The pediatrician said he looked and sounded good. He also was weighed and has gained another 9oz (in 1 week). Now he weighs 9lbs 7.6oz. The doctor upped one of his heart meds since his weight has gone up so much. We have another appointment with Dr. Levy (his cardiologist) on Friday. He will definitely give me more reassurance that everything looks good. The ride to the hospital was the first time Travis has been in a car without someone in the back seat to keep him company. At first, he wasn't having it. His paci quickly fell out and the screaming started. I stopped at the gas station down the street to pull him out of the car seat and calm him down since he was tomato red. After that I gave him his paci and he was content for the remainder of the ride. He likes the movement of the car but gets upset when I stop at a long light or in traffic. Friday I have to drive all the way to San Diego with him alone. I HOPE there is no traffic :)

He has set his wake up schedule to 6:30-7am regardless of how hard we try to have him sleep a little longer. I think the shades let in too much light because when the sun starts to come up, so is he. We are trying to get him into the EASY routine (from a book called the Baby Whisperer) . It stands for eat, activity, sleep, you time. He does pretty well with it. And, he is sleeping fairly well at night. He has one long 4 hour stretch from 10-2 or 2:30 then up again at 5:30 or 6. He LOVES to play in his play palace and his vibrating bounce chair. He got a lot of fun musical/light up hanging toys that he loves to swat at while playing. I'm not sure he knows that he is doing it but he seems to be having fun. He has been cooing more and more AND he is smiling much more frequently at us (mostly at daddy). We are trying to get him more interested in sleeping in his pack and play. He'll SOMETIMES take a nap there but often he wakes up crying and wants to sleep on me or Roger. I am learning how to get little things done here and there while he is sleeping in the PandP.

We are getting nervous for the heart cath procedure. It should only involve a one night stay but we'll be going back to the NICU and when we left there it felt like SO LONG before we would have to be back. This past month has gone by very quickly. Keep Travis in your prayers and pray that his appetite comes back full force and that his heart cath procedure goes smooth and that they find minimal narrowing!

I'm not sure about Roger but I feel a little bit as if we have the plague. Like people are avoiding us. We've been home a month with our little one but haven't seen or heard from many people. I know people are probably just giving us space and are afraid to pass any germs to Travis. Remember we can still see you....let's get together! It just breaks my heart that I can't bring Travis out and about to meet everyone or just to go to Target without the fear of him catching RSV or some other germ. I am a social person and it has been a long time (since his birth) since I've been able to just hang out with my friends. I feel lonely...I don't want to lose myself. Thankfully, Roger got out to go watch the San Marcos vs. Mission Hills game this past weekend. That felt some what normal.

Happy New Year everyone...what is your resolution?