This week was rough for a myriad of reasons. First, and foremost, it has been an emotionally heavy week on my heart. This week heaven welcomed 6 baby HLHS warriors. It is so hard for me to hear news like this and I can't even imagine how these parents are feeling. Well actually, I can. I imagine it all the time. I can't stop myself from imagining worst case scenarios. It is hard to hold onto your hope when so much sadness has come to the CHD community. Please keep all these little angels and their families in your prayers: Wyatt, EJ, Kale, Harlow, Sammy, and David.
Secondly, I am back to work. Work itself is fine. I just have this huge amount of guilt. Guilt that I am not spending enough time with Travis and Addison. I get home at 4 and Travis is in bed by 7:30 or 8. And in between that time, there is baths, dinner, etc. :( I just miss them. I feel like I don't hold Addie enough. Since Travis was the first and I didn't go back to work until he was 10 months old, he was held ALL.THE.TIME. I feel so guilty that I do not have the ability to do that for Addie.
Thirdly, next Friday is Travis' cath procedure. I am a bag of nerves for it. His reaction to the last one was so bad and I am scared it'll be the same this time around. I am hopeful that they will be prepared this time and anticipate an allergic reaction to the anesthesia. I am hopeful that they will be able to open up all the narrowing. I am hopeful we can push his Glenn/Fontan out until the end of the (17-20 month) window that we were giving. Please keep Travis in your prayers this coming week.
I'll leave you with some pics of my cute loves!
Travis practicing his coloring
Addie is such a smiley baby these days
Oh Nicole, I know how hard it is going back to work - I went back when Sierra was 4 months old. So sorry. :-( But you're such a great mom, and they're so lucky to have you. Hoping and praying for a quick adjustment for all. :-) And praying so hard for a successful cath for Travis next week. Putting it on my calendar now. :-)
ReplyDeleteThinking and praying for you guys! I wish I could tell you the heavy heart of a working mom gets easier =( Those are two beautiful little munchkins you have there! xoxoxo.. Alli
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that Travis is going to have more surgery. He is so lucky to have you and Roger for parents. You guys have been incredibly strong through all his medical procedures. I wish there was something we could do to help. Our thoughts and prayers are always with your family. Corky & Pete
ReplyDeleteWe may be far away but you all are always in our prayers! Keep looking up for your strength and comfort - Psalms 121. Each moment in life is precious and there really never seems enough time to give to those people/things that are important to us. Each moment is precious - enjoy as best you can and try hard to throw away that guilt - you are awesome parents! Thank you for sharing those beautiful smiles! Love, Doreen & Joseph (East Coast Family) :)
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