They really aren't kidding when they say having a baby makes your heart grow larger than you can imagine. You will do anything for that little being that grew inside you for 9 months. Those who don't have kids do not understand......they can't, it's impossible.
Here is what happened tonight:
Travis is hungry. Occasionally he wakes up and cries. Usually a paci dipped in water will calm him. A little bit ago he was screaming his head off and NOTHING I did was calming him. I can not yet pick him up (because of all the lines still in him) so I tried everything else I could do....singing, patting, shushing.....nothing was working. Finally, I was fed up and said "this is not okay his heart rate is 190.....I need to pick him up". The nurse (who is not a mom) says "it's okay for babies to cry" and then she continued on with what she was working on. She has no idea how painful that is for me to hear. It is NOT okay for him to scream his head off!!!! After he calmed down I stepped out of the room to collect myself. My heart was aching an indescribable ache. He is calm and sleeping now but I am a mess. This is really hard.