Monday, January 23, 2012

We Miss you Travis

Mom and Dad's Letter to Travis

From the moment we found out we were expecting our first baby we were thrilled. I have never seen Roger more excited than the day we found out that our first born baby was a boy. He literally jumped up off the couch from excitement. I cried….happy tears. I was happy and my heart was so full watching Roger beaming with pride. We promptly stocked Travis’ room with every sports themed baby item available. I used to joke….”What if he hates sports? What if he wants to act instead?”. Little did we know that we had much bigger things to be concerned about…

When we found out about Travis’ special heart we were terrified. The day of his diagnosis was a blur…through the tears, we remember the words “there is no cure but there is a well defined surgical approach”. We weren’t sure we were up to this challenge. We questioned a lot. Why us? Could we hand our baby over for surgery after surgery? Is it fair? It took us awhile to accept our fate and we decided that our little dude was going to be a fighter and we were going to fight with him! Little did we know that the next year and a half would take us on the most extreme ride of our lives. This journey was filled with fear, questions, unknowns, sleepless nights, helplessness, anxiety and terrifying medical procedures. But through it all there was hope, laughter and LOVE, lots and lots of love. Love oozed out of us….our family….our friends…. and love oozed out of our boy. He truly was the most loving, joyful, smiley baby boy around. The last 16 months have been the best months of our lives.

Travis had gorgeous eyes, a brilliant smile, he said “melmo” and “brobro” when he saw his favorite characters, he LOVED to dance to New Edition’s Cool It Now, he was SO proud of himself when he learned to throw a ball, he loved being pushed around on his tricycle, he loved to watch people (especially kids), he LOVED chocolate pudding and oreos, he loved to snuggle with mommy, he was addicted to his paci and Yo Gabba Gabba. He loved to chase his dogs all around. He loved water: whether it be swimming classes, a bath or just his dog’s water dish. He had a sassy attitude and a myriad of expressive looks. Man, you could certainly tell what he was thinking! He loved staring contests (even though he ALWAYS lost because he would laugh first) and wasting whole rolls of toilet paper. He loved reading and he knew how to “pray” when it was time for bed. He loved Christmas lights and messing with his new sister. He enjoyed life and brought joy to everyone around him!!! It is amazing how many lives one special little boy can touch!

We wanted to thank all of our friends and family for their support and understanding as we fought alongside our warrior. I know it was difficult for some of you to understand the magnitude of his condition but we so appreciate the prayers and love that you all shared for our boy! Through every surgery and difficult time we felt the love from “Team Travis”. We also want to thank Travis’ doctors and nurses who were so gracious and supportive even when we had a million and one questions and even when we wanted them to hypothesize the “unknowns”. We are not sure that there are adequate words to appropriately thank them. Hopefully, looking around this room at all the love that this one little boy brought to the world is proof that they make a huge difference. Travis was pure joy and we are so very grateful for every minute and every memory we had with him!!

Travis, we promise we will continue to support CHD research that may someday find a cure for all the little special hearts. We promise to keep your memory alive. Your daddy and I will always, always have you in our hearts and in our lives. We will make sure your sister knows just how much you loved her. We will miss you more than we can fathom but we will be okay….we know you would want us to be tough…..just like you, our little warrior. We love you Buggie!


1 comment:

  1. I just found your blog through a friend who's daughter has HLHS. I read through Travis' life with you and watched his video. What a handsome little man!! I just want to offer up my condolences. I know it doesn't help- somehow "I'm sorry for your loss" doesn't seem quite sufficient. Your story, like others I've read, have touched me and reminded me to be a little more patient with my kids- to spend more time with them, sing one extra song at night, hug them a little longer and love them a little more. I read your "angry" post. I get angry when I have so little patience with my kids and yell at them. And then I remember the families that do not have their baby and get angry at myself for being so ungrateful. So I hope that it brings you comfort to know that your story is just another reminder to myself to cherish every day that I have with my family.
    Your family will be in my prayers.